How to Raise an Adult


What really matters when it comes to helping a child become a competent, confident and caring adult?

During 10 years as Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University, author Julie Lythcott-Haims took notice of the escalating number of high-achieving students who lacked the self-reliant skills needed to become competent adults.

In her acclaimed book “How to Raise an Adult,” she turns to research and draws from her experience with Stanford students to explain how parents can help rather than hinder their children’s ability to acquire the skills needed for independent, successful living.

Bainbridge parents and educators will have an opportunity to hear author Julie Lythcott-Haims’ observations and recommendations in person by joining her and Raising Resilience at BHS Commons on Wednesday, February 3, 7:30 – 9 p.m. for the upcoming presentation.

Families with children of all ages will benefit from  her message. It is never too early to help children build the skills needed to become thriving adults.


Learn more by clicking here.


Getting to Calm While Parenting Young Children?

getting to calmWe’re excited to welcome Dr. Laura Kastner back to Bainbridge Island on October 20, 2015, at 7:30 p.m. This event is for caregivers, parents, and educators of young children (ages 2 to 7), as well as any other adults interested in the topic.

Dr. Laura Kastner will share from her newest book, Getting to Calm: The Early Years, which includes evidence-based strategies that help parents learn why and how to raise resilient children by utilizing positive discipline, while also promoting the tenets of mindful parenting.

Learn more, and register, here.

Summer Enrichment?

SummerWhat are the summer plans for your family? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Bainbridge Island was a place where a kid could still be a kid? Check out this article from the New York Times parenting blog that explores how “…a pre-programmed, enriched, spoon-fed, caged in, ‘checklisted childhood’ … can come at the expense of self-efficacy — a true, innate sense of self that is undermined when a person has too much of the stuff of life planned and handled for them.”

Raising Resilience will be bringing this writer, author Julie Lythcott-Haims, to Bainbridge in February. Her book, How to Raise an Adult was released this month. Stay tuned!

Ways to Raise Entitled Kids

We talk a lot about what builds resilience and independence in children.  Sometimes our best intentions to parent well can backfire. Reading these tongue-in-cheek “tips” made us cringe as we saw our own behaviors Entitled boybrought to light.

What tips do you truly have to help kids be independent without cultivating materialism and anxiety? 

Be a part of the change you wish to see

BHYA_logo (2)This brutal post from a junior high school student in Palo Alto is heartbreaking, and speaks to a lot of what we hear from Bainbridge High School students about stress and pressure.

Let’s do better for our youth on Bainbridge Island. Want to be a part of the change you want to see? Please join us for the fourth Bainbridge Healthy Youth Summit on April 25, 2015.

Tween Territory: Expert Insights (April 11, 2015)

Registration is now open for our Parenting Right in the Middle Spring Forum, called Tween Territory: Expert Insights. We’ve gathered three expert speakers to address topics on the minds of parents of tweens (grades 5 through 8):

Julie Metzger, RN, MN will talk about The Art & Science of Parenting Tweens
Stefanie Thomas, MA, from the Seattle Police Department, will address internet and cell phone safety, and
Dr. Leslie R. Walker, from Children’s Hospital, will talk about risky behaviors and protective factors.

Learn more, and register, here. The forum will be held at Woodward Middle School, starting at 8:30 a.m. (program starts at 9) on Saturday, April 11, 2015. Hope you can join us!

Community Conversation March 25: Igniting Your Child’s Spark

Our next Community Conversation will be March 25,  7pm – 8:30 p.m. at Bainbridge High School, Room 303.

Come join an engaging conversation about the importance of nurturing the path to human thriving in our kids.

We’ll watch a TED Talk by Peter Benson (former President of The Search Institute, which created the Developmental Assets framework) and talk about helping our children ignite their “spark” — a gift, which if encouraged and tended, will help them thrive throughout their life.
RSVP by commenting here, or email
Community Conversations are monthly gatherings intended to hold a space for conversations that matter – a place to share ideas, information, concerns and celebrations that contribute to nurturing a sense of well-being and connection within our families and community.


Parenting Right in the Middle: What do Teens/Tweens wish you knew?

PRITM Logo (1)“Do I make you proud?
Do you get me now?
Am I your pride and joy?”
~Brandi Carlile

We are looking forward to our Parenting Right in the Middle event tomorrow night, which will be a panel discussion with young adults and their parents. This video deals with many of the things teens, parents, and families wish they could talk about with each other, and it addresses the importance of building safe attachment during the tween and teen years.

Standardized Testing

testIt’s testing time! Well, it almost always is, isn’t it? Locally, we have some changes in store for our students. Kids in grades 3 through 8, plus grade 11, will be participating in Smarter Balanced Testing this Spring. Parents have many opportunities to learn more about it, both online and in-person at information sessions this spring, from Bainbridge Island School District’s new Director of Assessment, Dr. Jeff McCormick. Click here for more information.

Opinions very widely on the usefulness of testing, and how the results should impact staffing, funding, and curriculum. But in this opinion piece in The Boston Globe, Williams College psychologist Dr. Susan Engle points out that “…almost no one has publicly questioned a fundamental assumption — that the tests measure something meaningful or predict something significant beyond themselves.” She suggests seven things that really should be tested, including Reading, Flexible Thinking, and Collaboration.

What do you think of this list? What else should be added?

Image: David Hernandez


The Why’s Behind Drug Abuse

motherlode-addict-tmagArticleThis is a thought-provoking piece from the New York Times parenting blog on teens and alcohol/drug addiction. “[Teens] don’t use drugs out of a desire to get high, but rather to cope with the stress and anxiety in their lives. Therefore, if we want to keep teenagers from using drugs, we have to help them manage that stress.”

Lots of parents (and other adults) on Bainbridge have been talking about teens and alcohol lately. We look forward to the results of the Healthy Youth Survey, which might lead to some fruitful discussions about keeping our kids safe.

But in the meantime, what can we do about the stress and anxiety — also prevalent on Bainbridge — that may lead to these risky behaviors?

Photo Shaul Swartz, New York Times