How to Raise an Adult


What really matters when it comes to helping a child become a competent, confident and caring adult?

During 10 years as Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University, author Julie Lythcott-Haims took notice of the escalating number of high-achieving students who lacked the self-reliant skills needed to become competent adults.

In her acclaimed book “How to Raise an Adult,” she turns to research and draws from her experience with Stanford students to explain how parents can help rather than hinder their children’s ability to acquire the skills needed for independent, successful living.

Bainbridge parents and educators will have an opportunity to hear author Julie Lythcott-Haims’ observations and recommendations in person by joining her and Raising Resilience at BHS Commons on Wednesday, February 3, 7:30 – 9 p.m. for the upcoming presentation.

Families with children of all ages will benefit from  her message. It is never too early to help children build the skills needed to become thriving adults.


Learn more by clicking here.



Getting to Calm While Parenting Young Children?

getting to calmWe’re excited to welcome Dr. Laura Kastner back to Bainbridge Island on October 20, 2015, at 7:30 p.m. This event is for caregivers, parents, and educators of young children (ages 2 to 7), as well as any other adults interested in the topic.

Dr. Laura Kastner will share from her newest book, Getting to Calm: The Early Years, which includes evidence-based strategies that help parents learn why and how to raise resilient children by utilizing positive discipline, while also promoting the tenets of mindful parenting.

Learn more, and register, here.

Ways to Raise Entitled Kids

We talk a lot about what builds resilience and independence in children.  Sometimes our best intentions to parent well can backfire. Reading these tongue-in-cheek “tips” made us cringe as we saw our own behaviors Entitled boybrought to light.

What tips do you truly have to help kids be independent without cultivating materialism and anxiety? 

Be a part of the change you wish to see

BHYA_logo (2)This brutal post from a junior high school student in Palo Alto is heartbreaking, and speaks to a lot of what we hear from Bainbridge High School students about stress and pressure.

Let’s do better for our youth on Bainbridge Island. Want to be a part of the change you want to see? Please join us for the fourth Bainbridge Healthy Youth Summit on April 25, 2015.

Helping the Tricky Social World of Tweens and Teens

PRITM Logo (1)The older our kids become the more their peer group becomes everything to them. Their need to connect with kids their own age is an essential drive to create their own world. It’s the territory in which they explore questions like “Who am I?” and “How do I fit in?” But it can be an emotional roller coaster at times. How can parents help and support their tweens as they cope with these social ups and downs? Here are three articles worth reading.

These articles open up your tween parent lens to consider these social conundrums of the tween-teen developmental world.

From Australian psychologist Dr. Jason Coulson: Helping a Child with Toxic Friend Problems.

From Huffington Post blogger and therapist Signe Whitson: 9 Strategies to Help Kids Cope with Social Exclusion and Friendship Breakups.

And one more, specifically about the middle school boys, written by married authors Joshua Glenn and Elizabeth Foy Larson: The Buddy System: A single close friendship can ease a boy’s passage through middle school. But what if your son can’t find a pal?

Remember, your children need you, even when they don’t show it. Stand by, stay open, and be ready to listen.

This post is part of our Tools for Intentional Parenting (TIPs), through the Parenting Right in the Middle program. Throughout this school year, we will share links via email and this blog. If you would like to receive these TIPs via email, please sign up.

Developing Self-Discipline in Tweens

PRITM Logo (1)Registration is now open for our next Parenting Right in the Middle event on February 24, 2015. Tools for the Tough Stuff: Limits, Boundaries and Expectations will be about setting limits and boundaries.

When it comes to enforcing those limits, questions pop up about punishment, consequences, and control. Are there more effective ways to think about this? This article by Dr. Laura Markam asks us to consider more positive, learner-growth mindset alternatives that nurture self-discipline in our kids.
This post is part of our Tools for Intentional Parenting (TIPs), a part of the Parenting Right in the Middle program. Throughout this school year, we will share articles, videos and Q&A with experts via email and this blog. If you would like to receive these TIPs via email, please sign up.

The Power of Mindset in Parenting–Seahawks Show the Way

Pete Carroll, Russell WilsonEarlier this week at our most recent Parenting Right in the Middle event, speakers Karolynn Flynn and Kathie McCarthy shared a lot about the differences between a Learner-Growth Mindset and a Judger-Fixed Mindset. If you’re interested in seeing the PowerPoint presentation from that night, click here.

If you want to see the Learner-Growth Mindset in action, watch our NFC Champs the Seattle Seahawks next weekend! The Hawks are a Learner-Growth Mindset team. Pete Carroll coaches them that way! Guess what? He studied Mindset with researcher Dr. Carol Dweck, whose work we learned about at our event on Wednesday night.

We know you’ll enjoy blogger Annie Reneau’s piece 12th Man Mom: How the Seahawks are Making me a Better Parent. We couldn’t agree with her more. Pete Carroll is a dynamic role model for Learner Mindset parenting. (When Carroll got wind of Reneau’s post, he called her personally to thank her for using the Seahawk’s philosophy in her parenting. What a guy.)

Oxytocin and Brain Development

In this video, child and family therapist Jennifer Kolari explains how our relationship with our child affects his or her brain development. When parents connect with empathy, supportive questioning, and validation, then oxytocin — the “tend and befriend” hormone — is released in the child’s brain as he or she feels seen, heard, and understood. This then activates growth in the child’s neural circuitry of safety, openness, and self-regulation.  What a great gift!

This video is a wonderful introduction to our next Parenting Right in the Middle event on January 21!

Parenting Manifesto


Register by Monday (January 12) for the next Parenting Right in the Middle event, for parents of kids in grades 5 through 8.

The New Year has arrived! With a new year comes a chance for a fresh perspective. What better time to reflect on what is truly important to your family. Here is a perspective worth considering, from researcher Dr. Brene Brown. Also check out this free and colorful download that you can put in your home. Enjoy!

This blog post is part of our Parenting Right in the Middle program, which includes email messages called TIPs (Tools for Intentional Parenting) for parents of tweens (grades 5 through 8). Sign up here if you’d like to receive these TIPs via email.

Image courtesy of Dr. Brene Brown.

Homework: Whose Job Is It?

homeworkOK, helicoptor parents! Whose job is it? Who suffers the consequences when it’s not done? Washington Post blogger Sharon Holbrook bravely allows her kids to slip and fall, and in the long run, offers them the chance to figure it out themselves. Check out her blog post here.

What do you think? Is it more difficult to watch your kids flail and fail or pick up the pieces for them?